Last time out, we tackled the barbed issue of "peak beard"; this time, we're splitting hairs over whether a man should "go grey gracefully", or shamelessly dye his barnet for as long as possible once those little white terrors start amassing at his temples.
Off the top of my head, the answer on this one is simple - DO IT.
Go ahead, colour your hair enthusiastically and regularly, until you're at least 40. (Or 50. Or 60. Possibly later.)
Mostly because nobody's really looking or will notice - unless
a) you've already had grey hair for ages, or
b) like me, you make the mistake of thinking that "Burgundy" is a fairly anonymous shade of brown, rather than the shimmering wine-dark vision of purple iridescence which greeted me once I'd washed mine out. It took me three subsequent goes with jet black dye before I stopped looking as though I should be wearing a leotard and prancing around in a Prince video, and I still got some very strange looks at over-40s table-tennis club that night.
Some men may labour under the delusion that natural grey will give them the allure of a George Clooney, a Jose Mourinho or, erm, a Philip Schofield; but in fact, unless you're trim and elegant (or sitting next to Holly Willoughby), grey hair will just complement your expanding waistline, receding memory, and remind everyone that you're at an age where you'll probably soon be in the market for a sports car with the registration plate "M1D L1F CR515".
So yes, I am going to slap on the Schwarzkopf and ladle on the L'Oreal*. And so should you; unless you're a monk, when it comes to hair dye, you can whack it on-sure**!
Anyways, I'll leave the final word to Roger Daltrey, blonde-locked leather 'n' denim-clad adonis of stadium rock-turned-curmudgeonly immigrant-bashing trout-farmer - "Hope I dye before I get old"...
* - as this sentence suggests, I'm an unashamed user of "women's" hair dye products. "Just for Men"? What the hell's that about? Are the universal laws of chemistry somehow gender-specific when it comes to hair colourant? Must 50% of the population religiously eschew any alternative pileous product unless its effects are demonstrated on the packaging by a picture of a beardy 1980s Country & Western singer?
** - Monk? Tonsure? See what I did there? No?! Honestly, I wonder why I bother sometimes. (You're probably wondering why I bother ever....)
Naps vary in length, intensity and function. There are hundreds (maybe thousands) of different nap styles. Some already have cachet (see: The Power Nap), while others are sneaking their way into our culture (see: The Coffee Nap). The bottom line: Determining which style is right for you can result in real benefits, like improved alertness and energy throughout the day. Here’s our hot list of the latest in napcore.
Let’s start with the coffee nap. This type of nap recommends you drink caffeine before lying down for a rest. It sounds contradictory in nature. Why would you consume a stimulant intended to keep you awake and alert before trying to sleep? Well, studies show that by doing this, you’ll not only get the benefits of a quick nap, but you’ll also increase the effectiveness of the caffeine. When used together, and correctly, coffee and sleep can provide a speedy boost of rejuvenation during midday lulls. The technique stipulates drinking a cup of coffee followed by a 20-minute rest. The reasoning: It takes about 20 minutes to metabolize your coffee from the moment you take a sip.
The nano-nap is the briefest interval of sleep. We’re talking 10 to 20 seconds. It’s the moment when you pass out during the 3 p.m. meeting before your neck recoils to bring you back to life. You might know it better as the toilet nap, when you doze off briefly while escaping long work hours in the bathroom. No sleep study has concluded there’s a benefit to these. Sorry, you should have gotten more sleep.
Micro-naps range from two to five minutes and have been shown to be surprisingly effective at shedding sleepiness. Bump them into the five- to 20-minute window and welcome to mini-nap land. This interval of sleep increases alertness, stamina, motor learning and motor performance. That’s a long list of benefits. Next time you’re thinking about how to burn 10 minutes during the day, make sure you give a quick micro-nap the proper consideration. It’s sure to do more for you than mindlessly browsing the same three websites you’ve read all day.
(or the Coffee Nap minus Coffee)
The original power nap hits the sweet spot right at 20 minutes. Think of it as a coffeeless coffee nap. Even without caffeine, it helps improve muscle memory and long-term memory — and retains the benefits of both the mini-nap and micro-nap. Scroll up in case you forgot.
The lazy man’s nap is considerably longer. You’re going to have to cut out an hour to 90 minutes of your day for this one. However, if you can afford to, you’ll reap the extra rewards. Some argue it can mimic the benefits of a full night’s sleep. Benefits like perceptual processing and repairing bones and muscles, plus all the detailed benefits of the previous lengths. We have no illusions about the ease of finding close to two hours during the day to go to sleep, but in the circumstance you can, it’s a remarkably productive way to spend your time.
A lot of people. Normal people, famous people, athletes, politicians, inventors. Thomas Edison attributed much of his energy to frequent naps during the day. John F. Kennedy broke up his day with a nap to alleviate on-the-job stress. It comes down to being honest about your work-life responsibilities and recognising when and how you can utilise naps as a healthy and productive exercise during the day. Napping isn’t an indicator of laziness. In fact, it’s a testament to self-awareness and knowing the best way to keep your mind and body functioning at high levels. Don’t be ashamed of the nap. Embrace it. And now that you’ve gained this new area of expertise, use it to your advantage.
For longer than I care to remember, the prevailing facial fashion among hip young gunslingers seems to have been to wander round as if thousands of bees were inexorably attracted to the idea of doing the waggledance on your chin area.
Starting in Shoreditch, London (probably) in around 2010 (I reckon), the current vogue for full bushy beards shows no signs of abating.
It wasn't always like this, of course - the Romans were clean-shaving fanatics, to the point where they labelled the hordes of hairy brutes opposing them on the field of battle "barbarians" (from the Latin "barba", meaning "beard"*). They were immensely proud of their clean jawlines, highly-engineered roads and bridges and tightly-formed battle lines, which contrasted starkly with their opponents' wild hirsute berserker frenzies, dubious personal hygiene and tendency to daub blue woad on their backsides for some unknown reason.
The beard came and went throughout history; not so big in the 18th century, huge (and I mean ENORMOUS) in Victorian / Edwardian times - and then in the sixties, the Beatles went from being baby-faced mop-tops to grizzly psychedelic gurus in (seemingly) a matter of months. (Seriously, I know he was "letting it be" at the time, but how the HELL did John Lennon grow his beard so fast?)
And now, after a fallow period in the '80s and '90s, the big beard is back - seemingly for good. Or is it?
When you've got the least likely men on the planet sporting big growlers (Graham Norton??), as well as half of the first team of Ipswich Town FC, possibly the most boring team on the planet, all looking like polar explorers, you can take it as a sign that it may be time to look elsewhere for an inspirational facial.
My tip? Go completely bald. COMPLETELY. Including the eyebrows. It's definitely one for the future. (Maybe 3000 years into the future?)
All this, by the way, is coming from a man who still thinks the height of fashion is his original 1980s Simple Minds t-shirt - so probably worth taking with a large pinch of salt. Although if I'm proved right on the bald look, don't you forget about me!
* - this etymological link is tenuous at best, by the way. No-one's really sure where the word "barbarian" comes from; it might equally signify Greek / Roman perception of a foreigner talking incomprehensibly ("ba ba ba ba"), someone from the Barbary coast in North Africa, or someone in classical times who was cursed by the gods of Olympus because he was in the habit of interfering with sheep. (OK, I might have made this last one up.)
If you believe everything you read, there's a never ending stream of reasons why men don't like to commit. We've chosen some of the more ridiculous ones for your reading amusement.
· Relationships aren't like getting a dog, where he's like, "I can't go on vacation with my buddies because if I'm gone for more than a day, my girlfriend will take a shit in the kitchen."
· If someone offers to take you out for a $200 steak dinner, you're going to bust your ass to get there. If someone offers you a few slices of pizza, you might not be so inclined. If "the timing is bad," it's because he thinks you're pizza.
Seriously, girls pay to read this shit!?
· Some guys are just out to bang a whole bunch of women.
Here at BERG CLUB, the power is in your hands. In fact, the word
commitment doesn't even exist in the BERGcabulary.
You want to use us once and maybe again six months later? We're keen. Shall we go steady for 4 months and then take a break for no reason? Sounds good. Still window shopping elsewhere? or (Gasp) going all they way in? Have your fill of it!
The decision is all yours.
Cotton is a natural fibre that is used to make cloth, plastics, paper products and it's even used in the production of food. Cotton cloth is the most widely used fabric for clothing. All BERG CLUB polos are 100% cotton due to the many advantages that cotton affords, such as:
· Breathability (sweat marks? no thanks!)
· Comfortable against bare skin
A BERG CLUB polo can be worn many ways, for many occasions, and will always keep you looking smart.
· Lounging at the pool or beach with your swimmers
· Lounging at the beach club with chinos
· Picnic-ing in the park with shorts
· Sailing the isles with boat shoes and cargos
· Winning at winter with a bomber jacket (looking cool while staying hot)
· Street styling it up with a classic blazer
As if you're not already convinced, the BERG CLUB polo also comes in navy, lemon and pale pink (or 'salmon', if pink's not your thing but totally is your thing.)
Some men make looking good seem so effortless. Let us tell you their secret - it's simplicity that they've mastered and it's our mission to help you master it too.
Do you find yourself reluctantly going shopping once or twice a year and spending a large sum of money in one store? You're not alone! We have found this is a very common MO amongst our customers. Here are a few pointers on why a BERG CLUB membership is the ideal replacement to those reluctant shopping trips:
1. Outfits handpicked for you by a stylist (my own stylist you say?)
2. Clothes delivered directly to your home or office (the simplicity!)
3. No more crowds, no more sweaty changing rooms (oh so overwhelming)
4. Discover an array of new brands and styles (goody.)
A BERG CLUB membership entails receiving an outfit selected for your by your own personal stylist per month or quarter. It's totally up to you whether you want more than one outfit a month (what a man wants, a man gets), or if you only want a couple of outfits per year. You are in control and can double down, pause or cancel at any time.
We started BERG CLUB for men who either need help in the wardrobe department or simply do not have time to shop. Whether you have absolutely no idea what suits you and looks good, or if you are constantly updating your wardrobe with the new seasons trends, our stylists will curate outfits specifically tailored to your tastes and needs.
Our stylists are passionate about style rather than fashion. Each garment that they handpick for you is guaranteed to be well made, of quality material, and extremely versatile. Each outfit they handpick and deliver to you is accompanied with thorough notes on each garment, including:
· what to wear it with
· how to wear it with your current clothing
· how to make it trans-seasonal
· how to dress it up or down pending the occasion